Have you ever had one of those ah-ha moments and you just can’t believe it has taken you this long to get it? Well that was me yesterday, let me explain….

So I am in the middle of constructing JLP’s new website, and as I talk with the designer they have been telling me for weeks I need to have professional photographs taken so I can be more personal with my clients and let them know me on a personal level. The thing is because I am kind of in the busiest time of year (it’s Wedding Session in Kentucky) and finding time has just hasn’t seemed possible yet! Not that I haven’t tried I have contacted one of my favorite local photographers to get prices and try to find a day to just take the plunge. I have really been meaning to just do it but like I said “I could never find the time” so yesterday was Sunday and I had scheduled a maternity session for my cousin Katie (she is about to give birth to Miss Avery Kate any day now and maternity pictures was a MUST!) so we show up to one of the prettiest locations I have ever seen. Seriously it’s a hidden gem to a lot of people but us photographers, we scout! and thanks to Miss Keshia from Elegant Moments by Keshia for sharing the details with me!

I arrive with my family to the session, this is not that uncommon with JLP if we know the client I tend to bring someone with me to help and because this Sunday client, well she is family and everyone wanted to see Katie Beth we all went. Gosh I guess I could get to my ah-ha moment…….OK so since we were going directly after church and I had got a new lens I wanted to practice with I told my daughter I would take some pictures of her too and then it came to me since hubby (my second shooter) was driving I would take his camera and he could maybe snap some of me if we had time! HEY I was dressed up in my Sunday best so why NOT!

We are there and Katie text and says she is running behind so I ask Eric would he take some pictures of me he agreed. People what I am about to tell you may shock you but it's 100% the truth.I have taken thousands upon thousands of pictures but I am telling you nothing could have compared me for that moment! When he brought that camera up to his face my heart started flip flopping like I don’t know what! I was so nervous! I thought “what the world”? This is my husband I haven’t just met this man I have been married to him for almost 16 years! Why am I so scared? And then I began to think like I know my clients do. They are just as terrified as I was at that moment; I am a complete stranger to them. So I had an advantage with my husband taken my pictures, they don’t get that luxury unless they are a returning client. The majority of my clients have never met me. We have only spoken through emails or facebook messages, yeah not even a call. I finally understood it! because at that very moment I was feeling just like they do A NERVOUS WRECK!

I kept trying to breathe and act like I knew what the heck I was doing. I couldn’t show how I was really feeling on the inside. Eric probably wouldn’t have let me live it down for a while (LOL) So I just kept talking to myself like I do my clients and seriously it started to work. I kept saying “Jina you are beautiful and you can rock this shoot like a movie star” I was saying the same thing I say to my clients. “Chin down, don’t lock your legs, think about this image being on VOGUE….. and pop that booty out” ok so YES I was seriously telling myself that. It’s quite comical when I think about it now and I can’t believe I am telling on myself LOL but hey it will be worth it after you read the end! So I had about 45 minutes session and then my client showed up and I went back into “the photographer mode”

Came home and sat down at my computer and I started the post process as the images were loading into lightroom, I see my image come up on my computer screen……..I froze! I don’t even know how to put in the words the feelings that was running through my head. I honestly had to hold back the tears. For a 30 something woman to almost cry at her own image says a lot to me and it should you too. I waited way too long to let myself feel that way! I felt beautiful but it wasn’t the same feeling I get when my husband tells me I am beautiful or my kids, it didn’t even feel the same as someone else saying I was beautiful. I was telling myself I was beautiful which I don’t recall ever doing! I know that sounds so sad but you have to admit we all do it! We all stand in the mirror and say things to ourselves that we would never allow anyone else to say to us or let alone say it to someone we love. We can be very mean to ourselves and I know because I do it too! I have stood in front of mirror and told myself the same things you have told yourself. Well that STOPS here! They say if you want change you have to start with YOU! So I will change what I know I can. I know when I get you in front of my lens I can make you feel beautiful. I will drag it out of you just like I did to myself.

Jina